birthday blues

the sunday support group I attend ends on an up note where everyone gets the opportunity to find something good going on in their life. i said tomorrow was my birthday. I said that with utmost sincerity since i really felt joy about celebrating my birthday. this would be the first one in three years that i hadn’t found myself in a living hell. I went to bed with those same feelings.

drugs-god’s gift to me???

I want a new drug
One that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all day

Huey Lewis & the News

i have a long and sorted battle with meds in regards to my depression. i might as well start at the beginning.

my first depressive cycle, diagnosed as seasonal effective disorder, sad, coming in the winter, ended up to be a relatively minor one. i beat it back with just a careful regimen of good diet and exercise.