wishing i felt better, but i don’t

Mary finds herself going through her you gotta get better stages. this is a cathartic note about the situation. kevin is a reference to my brother who recently went through a bout of cancer.

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i wonder if kevin faced questions like, aren’t you done with that cancer, all you have to do is do this and you’ll be all better, don’t you think this cancer has gone on long enough? if only you worked a little harder you wouldn’t have this cancer. you know, this cancer is a little like an addiction.

drugs-god’s gift to me???

I want a new drug
One that won’t go away
One that won’t keep me up all night
One that won’t make me sleep all day

Huey Lewis & the News

i have a long and sorted battle with meds in regards to my depression. i might as well start at the beginning.

my first depressive cycle, diagnosed as seasonal effective disorder, sad, coming in the winter, ended up to be a relatively minor one. i beat it back with just a careful regimen of good diet and exercise.

to take or not to take

this week, i have had a question of my own mortality rolling around in my head. no, not i plan to find a tall bridge, more of a long term outlook. ya see, i had my annual physical this week and my cholesterol came back high. being a good modern doctor, she pushed statin drugs. do i take them or not? the question arises, why?