anonymity

i am a big fan of transparency. i try to be open about what is going on in my life. i try not to hide portions of my life. i try to always let my left hand now what my right hand is doing.

i participated in a writers group. The group mixed people writing for business, pleasure and personal writings. some people wanted to keep the personal writings separate from business writings. they felt like their personal writings my negatively affect what people would think of them and have an adverse affect on their business.

when i had the chance, i would advise them against that. “maybe something personal you wrote would strike a positive chord with someone, and the personal writing my bring you more work.”, i would conjecture. “maybe by showing who know are through your personal writings, connections to more business would occur.”

i really saw no reason to keep personal writings separate from business writing…until now.

too many members of the public know too little above bipolar disorder, or its equally maligned name manic depressive disorder. Their thoughts go to one flew flew over the cuckoo’s nest.  or living on some ward wearing pajamas that don’t even cover the backside.

they visualize

jack nicholson in one who flew over the cuckoo’s nest

even if their thoughts don’t go that far off the deep end, there is still a level of uncomfortableness with unknown things. too many people know too little about bipolar and are likely to make judgements before knowing the whole story. for that reason, at this time, i am choosing to segregate my bipolar life.

that doesn’t mean it always is going to be that way. i am wise to the ways of the internet and know how to connect bipolar sojourner back to ste… oops, almost let my real identity slip out there.

truth be told, i guess it is partly with me becoming comfortable with my new tag. I hate tags. I have been doing some work recently with  get out of your mind and into your life: the new acceptance and commitment therapy by Steven C. Hayes. he would suggest against tagging and would suggest a statement of something along the line that I struggle with bipolar disorder. guess i am still learning and trying to apply ACT.

please understand my anonymity as I get accustomed to this new part of my life.

getting started

recently, i got diagnosed with bipolar depression. it actually feels like a little bit of a victory. you see, i have been struggling with episodic depression for some 12 years.

it started innocently enough with a season of sad, seasonal affective disorder, followed by another season. or was it two? they all blend together. then i broke loose of those surly bounds and started having episodes any time of the year.

it has got to be about 10 episodes now. episodes for me can last from 4 to 6 months.

the feeling of victory comes from being treated for the wrong thing for years. there is a new–found hope that being treated for the right thing might lead to better results. perhaps i can finally have some freedom from this gloom, this fog, that has visited far too frequently.

my posts at bipolarsojourner.wordpress.com will be a place for me to recollect and write about my journey. I hope you join me.