i went to my dermatoigist

i spent the usual and customary 15 minutes in the front waiting room. the nurse came and got me. the walk to the exam was a long and winding walk. good thing they had cheese in the examine room, otherwise we mice would have never found it.

next, i had 2 or 3 minutes with the nurse. she asked the standard nurse type questions. she asked to see my neoplasm of uncertain behavior, or as i call it, noub. i showed it to her. she asked if i wanted a gown. i passed. off she went and i waited for the doctor.

The doctor arrived and we spent the first thirty seconds talking about my vibram five fingers shoes. the vibrams are almost always a a point of discussion. i had to wear them once as my formal shoes on a cruise. i forgot my formal shoes.

the doctor asked to see the noub. i hopped on the table and pulled up my shirt. while asking me how long i had the noub, he grabbed and antiseptic wipe. i told him as the wipe went across the back. he showed me the wipe and the noub. this will we anticlimactic. the noub ended up to be a scab. done in under 60 seconds and that’s with 30 seconds talking about my shoes.

don’t you hate when there’s a bunch of worry for no good reason at all?

girl scout cookies

said in my best crotchety old man voice…

five bucks a box!? i remember when they were only a dollar!

the st. valentine’s fiasco?

here’s how my valentine’s day went. don’t worry, it has a good ending.

the rules of texting

i’m new to texting and i am still learning. here are some preconceived notions i am trying to overcome.

0n the first date…

guys love when I tell them i’m “bi” on the first date.

knock knock jokes

  

ok fine

you may know the the acronym for fine, made famous in an aerosmith song, f.i.n.e. fine stood for f*cked up–insecure–neurotic-emotional.

please fasten your seatbelt and lock your trays in the upright position

this is off topic, but it’s fun.  i warn you, this time, follow the stewardess request.

This is a boeing 787 on a recent test flight. on test flights, they do things to test how the plane would preform in unreal situations. don’t believe me? see for yourself.

screwy sherlock

 

most dogs, if they would see a cone of shame, would take off with their tail tucked between their legs looking all pathetic. then, there is sherlock.

coming out of a dream only to dream

this happened to me.

really.

i’m not  lying.

Mary and i are trying to plan for a talk we are going to at a nearby hospital. we both had our cars and want to take only one car to the talk. oh, and we find ourselves in different locations. i walk by a row of cubies at work. a mutual friend of ours offers me a ride to the talk. with that, Mary and i would only have one car at the talk and we can swing by and pick up my car afterwards. i inquire on if they are planning to head in that general direction to which they tell me no. i think that would be silly for them to go that far out of their way…

i awake. i check my clock. it reads 5:49. Mary and i lay in bed and begin a discussion…

that’s right, a dream within a dream!

I remember a movie a few years ago. a few people were being trained to insert themselves into other people’s dream. the process required quite a bit of work. in the movie, in order to prevent some dastardly deed, they needed to insert themselves into a dream into a dream into a dream and if i remember correctly, into a another dream. so, they were now three or four dreams deep. well, i’ve got the first insertion without even training.

one down, just another 1 or 2 to go!