here i go again talking about what shouldn’t be talked about. it’s looking like an obsession, i’m sure. often times obsessed talk about the ese word comes from someone contemplating their own life. don’t worry, i’m far, far away from the edge. this post is about the time i got way too close to the ragged edge. Continue reading
I had a friend text me this morning, she said she didn’t like to hear about other people’s suicides. she had enough time dealing with her own humanity.
there is the long established gratitude diary. people who write in a gratitude diary usually write about 3 things they are grateful for. this helps them to reframe their life, since they take the time to recognize the often overlooked things they miss or don’t recognize.
gratitudes live primarily in the present or the past. “i am thankful for the blue sky, we have today,” would be an example of a present gratitude. “i am thankful for the gift that i received,” would be an example of a past gratitude. though not as common, future gratitude exists, too, with statements like, “i’m thankful that grandpa is coming to visit.” i see gratitude as a mostly current or looking back convention.
for a book i am working on, i have been exploring hope, what it means and how to express it. i see three primary expressions of hope.
- encouragement: i see encouragement as a work or action that serves to reengage someone’s drive. hope through encouragement comes in the form, “i know you can finish that project of time.” that is a expression of hope, hoping for the timely completion of the project. this is primarily an action of the future.
- acknowledgement: i see an acknowledgement as any statement or action that helps someone feel better about who they are and where they are in the moment. an acknowledgment might be, “i like you were able to put your head down and finish that project.” since acknowledgment are in the moment, they are mainly in the present.
- affirmation: i see affirmation as a positive statement of someone’s qualities , abilities or characteristics. “you do a really good job with your woodworking.” while a statement of the past or present, the recognized quality, ability or characteristic likely isn’t going away anytime soon. “you have a pretty smile”. hopefully the smile isn’t going away and carried into the future.
so hope is from the far end of the time spectrum as compared to gratitude with overlap. i’ve also observed both with myself and others how depression has the ability to rob both hope and gratitude. the struggles with hope and gratitude are not restricted to people facing depression, but more of a societal problem. many people, me included, have a hard time expressing gratitude or feeling hope. without those, people not only miss the good that has happened to them, but also discount the capabilities toward good they possess.
while gratitude gets a set of importance through the many people who do gratitude diaries, hope doesn’t get the same seat at the table. i would say looking forward carries the same importance as looking back. with that in mind, where are all those hope journals?
my challenge to you: if you do a gratitude journal, i honor you. there’s a little more to be done. let your gratitude diaries serve double duty also noting three of your hopes, whether it’s a hope tomorrow, next week or even next year. if you’ve done either, it’s time to look at the good that has come to you and the capabilities toward good that you have. don’t let the emptiness caused by the lack of hope and gratitude cloud what you have did and what you can do.
so, you up to it? are you ready to recognize the hope and gratitude that is in your life? try it, it may make a world of difference.
stigma come from everywhere. they can come from the outside. in this case, they the oppressive nature the society puts on people with mental disorders. they can come from the inside. In that case, the personalization of the outside forces effect who we are internally and how we think about ourselves. the third side talks about what can be done to counter stigma. Continue reading
what do auto accidents, breaking up with a girlfriend/boyfriend, feelings of frustration, loss of a job, loss of a bet, dealing with a fire, depression, medical conditions, breaking and arm, spraining an ankle and the list goes on and on all have in common? at some level, they all to some degree represent a loss of control.
how do you define depression? how do you describe depression? how do you explain depression? how do you tell your friends what it is like to be depressed? those are hard question.
at a recent support meeting, the question came up on why so many dogs have the name fido. A quick internet search found plenty.
the notre dame Latin dictionary lists fido as to trust, believe and confide in. many books defines fido as i am faithful. so fido is is considered faithful, trusty and worthy confidante.
before we go any further, q: what is the name the the first presidential dog that got photographed? (okay , you can probably guess the name.) why was the photo taken?
as spelled out pretty well in abraham lincoln’s diary and other historical works, he faced melancholia or as it is known in the modern day, depression. he had a dog, a companion and often ab would be seen walking with his dog behind him carrying a package. you could probably guess that the name of the dog was fido.
Fido served as a trusty companion in lincoln’s pre-presidential years. when the plans got made for moving to the white house, mary todd made the decision that fido would not make the trip. mary todd felt that some of fido’s allowed behaviors, such as coming in the house with muddy feed would not go over well at the white house. ab found a neighbor who took fido in with many stipulations such as being allowed to come in the house with muddy feet, being fed scraps from the table and not being left tied up alone in the backyard. in other words, the dog had it good.ab feared his two boys would be like him and greatly miss fido. in that time, people felt that the spirit of the things being photographed would go with the photograph. for that reason, ab had photos taken with fido and each of the boys so they could take the spirit of fido with them. hence, the first photographs of the presidents dog.
we know how abraham lincoln’s story ends, but what about fido? how’d his story end?
the lincolns moved back to springfield after ab’s passing. about a year after abraham lincoln’s assassination, fido went out on his morning rounds. he approached a drunk man asleep on the street. fido supposedly went down to lick the man’s face. the man awoke to see a wide open dog mouth hanging over his face. he freaked out, pulled out his knife and unfortunately stabbed him to death. )-:
i wish i could rewrite history and let fido die while burying his favorite bone, but i haven’t found a way to travel back to the future. and if i f did that, i rip a whole in the space/time continuum. let’s not forget that fido lived up to his name being a faithful, trusty and worthy confidante to the lincoln family. i can only guess the number of times fido let ab scratch his head and lift his gloominess, if only by a little.
and now for a truth in advertising statement: this writing highly relies on an article in physiology today, why are dogs so frequently called “fido”?.