the path around lake 22

it’s what didn’t happen

i sat on the couch sunday night
feeling fine as i could be
considering the current state of the wold around me
then out of the blue
it felt like i got knocked down four rungs or two

where did that come from
why did that arrive
when it things like that happen
it’s a little less enjoyable trying to survive

i asked the question of where and why
the answer eludes me
i just can’t grasp it
like that damn pesky fly

i pondered since then
and i’ve come up empty
i still look for that person
who bruised my left and right shin

a thought wandered through my mind
perhaps the reason i find myself in a tight bind
remember last week our adventure with jimmy
maybe that’s what caused my life’s small shimmy

events since then had been packed pretty tight
with something going on morning noon or night
sunday night was my first time to breathe
maybe that’s why i felt such a tight squeeze

so do i know a reason for the despicable moment
perhaps something else hides in life’s jellied filled donut
all i want is this feeling to go away
remove this new cloud with plenty of gray

talking to a friend they done tickled my mind
it really led to quite a big find
it wasn’t so much of what happen to jimmy
instead it’s what didn’t happen to jimmy

i lay with him while his breathe did struggled
my emotions only got pulled then tuggled
he look so much like a goner
it cause my heart to harden like a honer

sure it didn’t happen
jimmy’s still with us
no mess no muss
my heart still feels wacked by a rolling pin

sure i see him cross from here
but i can’t seem to shake the feeling of not having him there

the path from here is certain
this i must do
keep looking in all trade show booth
in search of the pesky ole fountain of youth

This entry was posted in acceptance, depression, friends, poetry, the boyz and tagged , on by .

About bipolarsojourner

i have struggled with episodic depression for years. i then received a diagnosis of being bipolar, only to find out i didn’t. ends up my psychiatrist really meant to say that multiple bouts of depression are often best treated like bipolar. i had already started this blog as bipolar sojourner and didn't want to switch it over. i am documenting my journeys through my depression jungle.

One thought on “it’s what didn’t happen

  1. avaswan

    Hi Stephen,

    I’m just wanting to check on you and let you know I how much you mean to me. I hope you are alright, if there is anything I can do to help you please let me know. I sincerely hope I haven’t said something to cause you pain sweetie! I’m hoping you feel better soon and praying for you.

    Ava

    On Mar 28, 2017 9:11 PM, “facing off with the big d” wrote:

    bipolarsojourner posted: “i sat on the couch sunday night feeling fine as i could be considering the current state of the wold around me then out of the blue it felt like i got knocked down four rungs or two where did that come from why did that arrive when it things like that ha”

    Reply

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