frightened v. to fill with fear or alarm
why would i be frightened? jimmy, by far and away the best dog i had, respiration rate has shot up.
i often will try to match the respiration rates of the beings around me as a way to slow my racing mind as i go to sleep. long ago, i gave up doing that with jimmy. i’d breathe in, hold it , hold it hold it, then breathe out, attempting to match jimmy’s breath. i’d reach a point where i’d have to breathe in for fear of my lips turning blue. his resting respiration rate has to be somewhere around 15 breathes per minutes (bpm).
not last night. as i tried to fall asleep, for about 2 1/2 to 3 hours, listening to his accelerated shallow breathing, i decided to measure his current respiration rate. ugg, 34 breathes in 30 seconds for a respiration rate of 68 bpm. that’s a little, no, a lot, fast.
unfortunately, it is not totally surprising as he has a heart mummer. that’s when a heart valve doesn’t close right, leaving gaps in the valve. as the heart pumps, the blood seeps through the open gaps in the valve. that makes the heart less efficient, so it has to work harder. eventually, the hearts begins to work so hard, it sends a message to the lungs, work harder. his has been getting worse with time.
to sum it up, jimmy’s busted ticker is becoming a little too busted.
that means i have to really start thinking about life without jimmy, he said, with tears streaming down his face. i don’t want to.