i may seem a little checked out right now. to some degree i have.
firstly, i’ve been fighting the idea that i am facing dysthymia, a chronic moderate depression. while far off the lows from my last depression, i am no where near to where i was before. i had smaller depressive variations throughout and for the last few weeks, i’ve been leading the wrong way. that sucks! click to find out more
i sat on the couch sunday night
feeling fine as i could be
considering the current state of the wold around me
then out of the blue
it felt like i got knocked down four rungs or two
where did that come from
why did that arrive
when it things like that happen
it’s a little less enjoyable trying to survive
i asked the question of where and why
the answer eludes me
i just can’t grasp it
like that damn pesky fly
i pondered since then
and i’ve come up empty
i still look for that person
who bruised my left and right shin
a thought wandered through my mind
perhaps the reason i find myself in a tight bind
remember last week our adventure with jimmy
maybe that’s what caused my life’s small shimmy
events since then had been packed pretty tight
with something going on morning noon or night
sunday night was my first time to breathe
maybe that’s why i felt such a tight squeeze
so do i know a reason for the despicable moment
perhaps something else hides in life’s jellied filled donut
all i want is this feeling to go away
remove this new cloud with plenty of gray
talking to a friend they done tickled my mind
it really led to quite a big find
it wasn’t so much of what happen to jimmy
instead it’s what didn’t happen to jimmy
i lay with him while his breathe did struggled
my emotions only got pulled then tuggled
he look so much like a goner
it cause my heart to harden like a honer
sure it didn’t happen
jimmy’s still with us
no mess no muss
my heart still feels wacked by a rolling pin
sure i see him cross from here
but i can’t seem to shake the feeling of not having him there
the path from here is certain
this i must do
keep looking in all trade show booth
in search of the pesky ole fountain of youth
as i often do, when i see a new reader like or comment about one of my posts, i go read some of their work. having gotten a like from silent amour. i checked out one of her post. in regrets. she states, “they say that if you truly love someone, you can never really unlove them.” reead more about love and frienship
been a busy week around here. here are the nature, mostly (not unless you consider Mary my honey bunny) photos i found good enough for the viewing public.
the falls from base level
the other day i wrote a post frightened. it did not register even a read. maybe it was because i forget to stick in my more tag, so people could read the whole post in email, or in the archive. maybe it was wordpress’s less than solid reader counter system. maybe people had real fear about frightened so they stayed away. Continue reading
not sad tears, mind you but happy tears.
Continue reading
so, so you think you can tell
heaven from hell…roger/gilmour waters
i’ve seen my heaven and i’ve seen my hell. heaven occupied much of my early life, before my long and deep depression. sure, the golden streets didn’t exist and i didn’t really need them. things seldom seemed to go as planed, but as the story goes, that’s life. i could find at least some satisfaction in what i did and what i had become. sure, i had my depressive struggles, but I for the most part could manage.
frightened v. to fill with fear or alarm
why would i be frightened? jimmy, by far and away the best dog i had, respiration rate has shot up. Continue reading
here a a few picturesof the boyz, jimmy and sherlock, from Mary and i’s recent trip to snoqualimie falls.
sherlock & jimmy trying to sun themselves on the rock.
jimmy looking stately.
Mary and i went to snoqualimie falls with the boyz today…
facing off with the big d 