on an editorial note, this marks my 200 quote. make sure to congradulated me on persiverence.
…she never had dreams
so they never came true…
j. geils band
i’ve heard these words hundreds of time before, since the release of freeze frame in 1981. frees frame, by j giels band was one of the few albums (albums, remember those? you know: vinyl) i had in high school. today, the words took on new meaning.
when depression gets deep and the suckitude increases to level too often seen, depression becomes like a thief in the night, clearing out a room in my mind or stealing other even more precious items, like the ability to dream. dreams become a memory of the way things use to be. as hard as i try, the ability to imagine a dream becomes an impossible task.
with dreams gone, how can they come true? they can’t. life becomes like a prison whose has no idea of release. no wonder so many like me in the depth depression struggle with despair.
for the most part, thankfully the story does not end there. somehow a crack appears in the seemingly impermeable wall. somehow a thought of how life might look like after depression somehow implants itself in the mind. that implanted seed makes things that like a seemed impossiblity just a month ago now seems like them might be doable. with that, hope returns.
the leap from hope to dream seems less undaunting. i allow my mind to wander to how things might be outside this room of darkness. the room becomes just a little less dark and those very hopes slowly get converted into dreams. with that, as life becomes a little less dark, the lights of hopes and dreams, the absence of despair, begin to make life feel kind of normal again, and that is a good thing. here’s to good things.