the sunday support group I attend ends on an up note where everyone gets the opportunity to find something good going on in their life. i said tomorrow was my birthday. I said that with utmost sincerity since i really felt joy about celebrating my birthday. this would be the first one in three years that i hadn’t found myself in a living hell. I went to bed with those same feelings.
then I woke up. I immediately felt a blue and melancholy feeling. where’d this come from? i can’t seem to put a finger on it. the morning has turned to early afternoon and the blue feeling seems to ebb and flow but it still permeates my date.
maybe the question rings in your head, “did you miss a med?” i wish it where that easy, but no, i haven’t missed any mess recently.
maybe this feeling will just be there throughout my day. perhaps acceptance instead of fighting will give me more joy in the end. sigh.