clouds and sunlight

the effect of remembering niceties

on sunday, i went to a depression support group in the early pm. in the mid-am, i sent a text to a friend saying, “i’m looking forward to seeing you.” that’s all. nothing more.

IMG_0342-0after the meeting, my friend approached me, with the text on the screen of their phone, emphatically pointing to it as they said to me in a sincere voice, “thank you. that meant a lot to me.”

the text I send simply said that my friend had value to me. it only took just a few moments to compose and send, but the results had far greater impact. the friend lived with an elevated feeling for hours.

has the world forgotten about simple niceties such as this and there incredible healing powers? have we forgotten to take just a moment to recognize the value to the people in our lives?

with depression, people almost completely forget their worthiness, lovability, “and their great value. all self-value, self-esteem and self-care hover near zero. heck, even “well” people struggle with those very same concerns. in such a state, people can easily imagine that no one would want to see them, talk to them, relate with them, or be with them. that world can be a dark place.

the simple niceties like, “i’m so glad to see you.”, “i’m looking forward to seeing you.”, “i’m so glad you are my friend.”, or “i really like/love you.” help to humanize the person and remind them that even in their darkest hour someone still cares about them. (bonus points for using their name. that further humanizes them and leaves little doubt the statement was meant for them.)

i leave you with a challenge:

Pick a friend and for the next week, deliver three niceties to them a day. don’t tell them what you are doing. they can be spoken or written and they can all be delivered at the same time, say in an email or text message. at the end of the week, ask your subject if they noticed your gift. also, ask them if they have noticed an elevated spirit because of the gift.

in the words of the great rocky, “if i’s can change, and you’s can change, everybody can change!” so, please join me in reintroducing niceties to the world. let’s change the world, one person at a time.

please follow through, i’d love to hear you results in the comment section below.

7 thoughts on “the effect of remembering niceties

    1. bipolarsojourner Post author

      i’ve actually done this challenge a few times. i am three for three in taking people from their declared depressed state to emotional stability in about a week.

      speaking of state of mind, how are you?


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