After reading wish i felt best but I don’t-this time with passion, my friend had the nerve to give a gentle nudge and use my words against me.
…some things that could bring happiness and joy to you. what fills your tank, that helps you from not feeling drained…
that got me to thinking; what brings me joy? what fills my tank? what keeps me from feeling drained? quite the questions to ponder.
i use to have answers; hiking, biking, walking, quilting, photography. these and many other things use to feed me. the joy and energy I derived from these helped me to not feel so empty and eventually to refill my tank and put depression behind me.
something has happened this cycle, something cruel; i’ve tried each and everyone of these and more and nothing has even budged the needle of wellness. depression drains. with an empty tank, it becomes easier to slip into depression. continued draining with nothing to refill the tank leads to an empty tank.
depression drains and if nothing refills the tank, depression continues to exude its malevolent power. with a small trickle, at best, refilling the tank, the tank refills slowly or just stays empty. the empty tank represents a lack of joy and/or fulfillment suggests a longer journey out of depression. with a slow refill, because of the minuscule refill rate also points to a longer journey out of depression.
i face a challenge, a challenge like never before. a challenge to find things that will bring me joy. it will likely be something new, something that i have thought of before. all my stand by’s haven’t seemed to do anything. it will be a time of discovery and challenge while to searching and hopefully finding my fuel source or sources at fill my tank, bring me joy, and keeps me from feeling down.
and you, what feeds you? what brings you joy? what fills your tank? what have you done when your joy fuels seemingly evaporates? have you lost your fulfillment juice? if so, what did you have to do to refill your tank?