rock in the water

a nightmare averted, the power lingers

I found myself in a dream state this morning. in the dream, i checked my email in the early morning hours. a new email pops up in my inbox. it came from my primary bank. it has the customary title of,”your password has changed. please contact us if you did not make this change”

and, i didn’t change it!

my mind starts racing, faster than a speeding bullet. i quickly wake from my slumber. the lines between dream and reality completely disappear.

shit! how did they guess our password? definitely, not social engineering since the password has no relation to me or Mary. brut force would have to be the only way.  but it is a super long, super secure password like 4cowsJumpedoverthebrand-Newcar! (btw, i have never used that password and never will. i offer it as an example only.) did they some how get it off my computer? that would be next to impossible; all my passwords are stored only in a password vault secured by another equally secure password as the bank password.

i wonder if the contact number will even be maned at this early hour. no matter, the account has already been drained. if the bad guys get access to an account, they would likely drain the account, post haste. why would they delay and allow for a chance for them to get locked out of the account?

crap! i find myself a victim of identity theft! what a pain. if they got that account, how secure would my other accounts be, even though they are protected by equally secure passwords as described above?

but my mind, mere seconds after waking from my dream, realizes that maybe, just maybe, that dream and reality haven’t really crossed paths. i quickly check my inbox only to find no such message. thankfully! crisis averted.

relief, right?

i wish. the anxiety of the situations grips me like a golfer securely grips their golf club so it doesn’t fly out of their hands. even a half-hour later I still find myself in super hyper-vigilant state, like a soldier in battle. my gut remains tight as if i find myself still dealing with the situation. i recognize that the fear came from a dream state. but, the realness of the dream, the impact I would experience if it were even true, the realness of the horrid situation makes the intense feelings linger

This entry was posted in anxiety and tagged , , , , on by .

About bipolarsojourner

i have struggled with episodic depression for years. i then received a diagnosis of being bipolar, only to find out i didn’t. ends up my psychiatrist really meant to say that multiple bouts of depression are often best treated like bipolar. i had already started this blog as bipolar sojourner and didn't want to switch it over. i am documenting my journeys through my depression jungle.

7 thoughts on “a nightmare averted, the power lingers

  1. Nikki

    Dreams like that are so annoying. . Glad it was just a dream. . Hope you’ve recovered you’re day.

  2. Anxious Mom

    Ugh I hate when dreams resemble real life like that, to the point where it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t.

    Thanks for the new password, btw. 😉

    1. bipolarsojourner Post author

      you’re right! i just logged into your wp account. now i can write as you! let’s see, what should i write. maybe I’ll write about how wonderful my parents are. that probably would be to a little to far from the truth and I’d expose myself.


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