mt rainier fron kendall catwalk hike

sad but true

as Mary and i drove home from her sister’s house for easter, i noted that I felt more comfortable with her family than my own. it’s not like i’m sleeping with any member of her family, well except for the person with whom i exchanged vows. 🙂

it’s more a statement on the sad state of affairs between my family and i. for the most part my family seems to be uncommunicative with me. my sister offers up the one exception, seemingly writing me off. i might go so far to say her actions make me believes she might be a rhymes with glitch.
she seems to know a hell of a lot about dealing with depressed people. i mean, who wouldn’t think telling a depressed person who looks up to you that they are ungrateful and i’m done with you would be nothing but be a pick-me-up.
what if i remember my mantra, mistakes were made, move on? without a doubt, i’d be better off. the pain i feel right now just feels to great. it just stirs up those abandonment issues from childhood, how i could have grown up in a household with two parents but basically have zero parenting. i don’t think i’m some brilliant neuroscientist to make the bold statement that fact somehow contributes to my emotional well being and depression.
abandonment: mistakes were made, move on. the very fact the abandonment happened seems to make the act of letting go that much harder to do. :^(

2 thoughts on “sad but true

  1. bipolarsojourner Post author

    thank you for taking the time to express your caring thoughts. yep, without a doubt, my family makes me sad, too.

    i’m not sure i’ve completely found a new family. i experience less discomfort when i am with them. i think that just comes with the disorder; it makes it harder to just feel like i fit in anywhere.


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