tech support for love

a friend of mine sent me this. it follows a typical call to tech support with someone needing help installing love. is really has a lot to think about.

 *installing love*

    tech support: yes … how can i help you?

 

    customer: well, after much consideration, i’ve decided to install

    love. can you guide me though the process?

 

    tech support: yes. i can help you. are you ready to proceed?

 

    customer: well, i’m not very technical, but i think i’m ready. what

    do i do first?

 

    tech support: the first step is to open your heart. have you located

    your heart?

 

    customer: yes, but there are several other programs running now. is

    it okay to install love while they are running?

 

    tech support: what programs are running?

 

    customer: let’s see, i have past/hurt, low self-esteem, grudge and

    resentment running right now.

 

    tech support: no problem, love will gradually erase past/hurt from

    your current operating system. it may remain in your permanent

    memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. love will

    eventually override low self-esteem with a module of it’s own called

    high self-esteem. however, you have to completely turn off grudge

    and resentment. those programs prevent love from being properly

    installed. can you turn those off?

 

    customer: i don’t know how to turn them off. can you tell me how?

 

    tech support: with pleasure. go to your start menu and invoke

    forgiveness. do this as many times as necessary until grudge and

    resentment have completely erased.

 

    customer: okay, done! love has started installing itself. is that

    normal?

 

    tech support: yes, but remember that you have only the base program.

    you need to begin connecting to other hearts in order to get the

    upgrades.

 

    customer: oops! i have an error message already. it says, “error-

    program not run on external components.” what should i do?

 

    tech support: don’t worry. it means that the love program is set up

    to run on internal hearts, but has not yet been run on your heart.

    in non-technical terms, it simply means you have to love yourself

    before you can love others.

 

    customer: so, what should i do?

 

    tech support: can you pull down self-acceptance; then click on the

    following files: forgive-self; realize your worth; and acknowledge

    your limitations.

 

    customer: okay, done.

 

    tech support: now, copy them to the “my heart” directory. the system

    will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty

    programming. also, you need to delete verbose self-criticism from

    all directories and empty your recycle bin to make sure it is

    completely gone and never comes back.

 

    customer: got it. hey!!! my heart is filling up with new files.

    smile is playing on my monitor and peace and contentment are copying

    themselves all over my heart. is this normal?

 

    tech support: sometimes. for others it takes awhile, but eventually

    everything gets it at the proper time. so love is installed and

    running. one more thing before we hang up. love is freeware. be sure

    to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. they will

    in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

 

    customer: i promise to do just that.

 

    tech support:  most people feel all they need is an annual checkup

    to stay heart-healthy; but, the manufacturer (me) suggests a daily

    maintenance schedule for maximum love efficiency.

 

    – author “unknown”